Judgement Day

Tomorrow morning at 6am PST, I am set to be induced. I'm not really looking forward to it, but we're at the point where my body just isn't doing what it's suppose to be doing. It is protecting my baby and has been a very good house for her to grow in. However, it's time to come out and I need some help with that.

My husband and I wanted the most natural hospital birth you could have, no drugs and NO INDUCTION. We waited and waited for my body to react to being 40 weeks. We waited for it to notice I had hit 41 weeks, and that all those painful false labor contractions were doing what they were suppose to be doing. My doctor, however, said it isn't safe to wait too much longer.

I learned during my pregnancy that placentas, the life source between me and my baby, have a shelf life. That life ends around 42 weeks of pregnancy. Sometimes, placentas die before the baby is born, sometimes they stop working as well. A year and a half ago, my sister lost her first child due to her placenta detaching before the baby was born. It is a scary experience to live through and very emotional to deal with. I have been dealing with it mentally ever since I got pregnant, it just adds to the normal fears of pregnancy. You can't stop it from happening and you can't predict if it will happen to you. It's scary and I have been scared the last 41 weeks. But tomorrow it should all change, the fear should dissipate.

So how do I feel about the induction? I'm scared. Scared of the pain and the unknown. Scared that it will tire me out and makes me too weak to push. Scared I will have to get a C-Section. Scared I'll never get to meet my baby. I know this seems melodramatic but these are my fears.

Nevertheless, I have a great support system. My husband has become the light at the end of the tunnel. He as been amazing, living up to more than I ever thought I could need. This pregnancy has made us so much closer, thinking that we knew each other as well as we could. His enthusiasm to be a new dad has kept my head up this whole time. We have made a great team and always have a plan, including the hospital tomorrow. That would be my biggest advice, always have a backup plan and make sure you and your partner agree. Before things get hairy. He as proven to be my best friend in all of this.

My fears, hopes and dreams are all on the table. So my judgement day? It will be the most exhilarating day of my life.