Panic

I witnessed my husband get soap in Astrid's eyes during her bath today. I didn't see how it happened but I saw the aftermath. All of a sudden she began to scream bloody murder and flail in her cute, pink baby tub. She thought she was dying. I thought she was dying. As my husband watched in horror, I quickly (but in slow motion) scooped her out of the tub and held her close to my body. She was soaking wet and finally calmed down. After examination I could see her eyes and face were red, which is how I deduced it was a soap issue. I gave small tugs on her extremities and placed her back in the tub. I left the bathroom to continue making dinner.

For a good 5 minutes I was furious with my husband. I was scared for my child, but not because my husband is incompetent or ruthless. She was and is still in very capable hands. I felt something I had never felt, a panic that I had not stopped the incident all together. In that moment, the protector in me wanted to hurt the person who had hurt my cub. And I write this to document that I, for a few fleeting moments, wanted to kill my husband and save my infant- preferably by ripping his throat out. That moment is gone, thank goodness. Our happy family is fine.


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BFFs

My poor husband puts up with a lot of stuff. He copes with the fact that his wife, at any moment, could make some new decree and he would have to just deal with it. He does not challenge me just planning trips/events with my friends on a whim; or that maybe tomorrow I will stop eating cheese and so will he. He accepts that my social activism will sometimes get in the way of his misogynistic, dominantly white culture thoughts, and that if I had my way, we would stop using gas before the whole world collapses due to a peak oil crises. He will unwilling watch the news with me, and keep quiet when I start to yell at the tv in disdain. He puts up with the fact that I put up with a lot of things he loves (like this podcast he constantly listens to that I deem so dumb I don't know why anyone listens to it). I love my husband for his acceptance of things he can not control in me.

However, it saddens me to see him put up with the fact that Astrid and I are new best friends. Most of the time, he and she gets along right as rain. But occasionally, all she wants is mommy. Take last night for instance.

I wasn't feeling well do to a bad eating decision on my part earlier in the day. By the evening, I had stomach cramps and was in and out of the bathroom every 10 minutes. I couldn't hold or play with Astrid the way I wanted and would pass her off onto John. And she would cry. So much so that he started hanging out in the bathroom doorway so she could at least see me (talk about lack of privacy).

What saddens me most about all of this is that it makes him sad. He wants to be a part of the Scully BFF club too. We all know it's temporary and it doesn't even happen all the time; but it still makes for awkward moments and uncomfortable situations. I can't be the only parent and Astrid is slowly (and painfully) figuring that out. I can say it has gotten tremendously better over the past few weeks. Before, she would cry almost every time he held her. Now, it's just when she's extremely tired at night. Unfortunately that is major daddy time, when I get to shower off the caked on baby messes of the day or work on my master's coursework which has a deadline quickly approaching.

As I said it's temporary. She's young. For someone who has lived a large portion of her life attached to me, literally, I assume that time away feels like an eternity. I know she is always wondering why I ever put her down. Sometimes, it's just so her daddy can hold her.


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Emergency Dentist Appointments

Today, John and I both got to be stay at home moms. (That makes me giggle a bit.) I had to get a tooth pulled and was worried about the aftereffects. This gave John the day off to take care of both of his girls. So besides the running around, nausea, seeing my dentist and being referred to an oral surgeon, vomiting in not one but TWO parking lots, and the pain I had been in for almost three days, watching John have daytime fun with Astrid was delightful. He only gets nights and weekends with her, which are not always her fun times. She is a crier at night but a giggler during the day. Today, he got to do a lot of giggling too.






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Bad Mommy Moments #1

So I wanted this to also be a learning experience I could look back on, hopefully without embarrassment. So occasionally (I hope) I wanted to share some events that were probably not good judgment on my part. Sometimes it seems to work out just fine for me and my little one. Sometimes, it's really just a bad mommy moment.

Keeping Baby Nails Trimmed




During all of our parenting classes and even during a tour of the hospital, they told each of us to bring nail clippers for our new infant. The hospital staff are not allowed to trim baby's nails, commenting that it's some type of "invasive procedure." During our Infant Care Class, the instructor told us point blank that we would nick their fingers occasionally. It's just something parents have to do. My mother later suggested biting them off, because you would be able to feel your boundaries a little bit better than with metal shears. I decided that would be my only way of grooming Astrid's tiny fingers.

Astrid does not like her hands in my mouth, especially when she realizes I'm messing with her nails. This has been this way since birth. I tried a different tactic of pulling at the soft nails until they ripped off. She doesn't like that either. It doesn't hurt, just annoys. Only once have I resorted to clipping her nails because she scratched her face and we were worried the next time would be worse. Mind you, one of us had to hold her while the other did the clipping.

"Why not wait until she is asleep? Then she won't even know." Yeah right. She knows. As I tug on her hand to clip or trim or bite away her claws, she pulls back- asleep or not. Finally, I gave up. I stopped fighting her.

Results?
She has beautiful, long nails. And no scratches on her face. Turns out babies, at least mine, can adjust. When she is griping my arm or hand, she digs in with her nails no worries. When it hurts, I loosen her grip. She also flails in and swipes at her face when agitated (during sleep and awake times). However, she never scratches her face. (She scratches mine though.)

I still get a little worried that my child may scratch her corneas; but it's been at least a month and she has grown into her hands with grace. This moment didn't turn out too bad.



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3 Months

So it's been about 3 months since we brought Astrid home from the hospital. Things get more and more interesting every day. New mannerisms seem to happen every minute sometimes. Here are some of the things she has achieved since we last checked in:

*hold her head up straight and steady (2 1/2 months)

*grip things (about 2 months)

*talking baby talk (1 month)

*pushing up on her legs ( 3 weeks)

*recognizing her name and looking at you when you call her (3 months)

*picking up things (2 months)

*holding her head up while laying on her stomach

*rolling over on her back while laying on her stomach

*blowing bubbles

But I know what you're all here for- the pictures. Here you go.

Build a Bunny- first toy (made while in mommy's belly)

Loving on Jeca's home made blanket

All dressed up

Smiling with mommy

Sleeping in the car

Bath time fun

Teething ring time

Sad day! Heat rash

Look what I can eat!